(What February Brought Us)

Blue Horse Whisper - Precision horsemanship isn't everyone's idea of a good time, dressage or steeplechase are some people's great enthusiasms.  Blue Horse Whisper is something created for those enthusiasts by the people who are purely interested in horses themselves.  The riding tonic, when applied, dyes the horse's ears blue - but it makes them much more amenable to being guided precisely by those who whisper in their ears.

A Final Offer - You've been asked, again and again to join the Old Firm, to follow in the diabolical footsteps that have led your kin all alike to hell.  You can always just succumb, give up your soul & all common decency to get that perfect, immaculate, glorious gift - the one tainted with the vileness of hell.  You've got this in your back pocket, a bargain with devils that the devils just can't wait to close.

Umber Helm - Made of blackened obsidian & darkened night this helmet - fashioned in an antique style with cheek & nose-guards & stylized eye-holes - plumed fetchingly with a spray of crow feathers - the Umber Helm is all but invisible in the dark - leaving only the faint impression of your ferocious disembodied eyes.

Marble Powder      Manufactured Dust - A pouch of dust - each grain carefully ground to a sphere.  The powder is as useful as any powder - though it flows more easily and often acts like a liquid.

Five Eyes of the Coelacanth - These eye patches were worn by the marines of the ship Coelacanth in order to train themselves to be able to see in the dark and over cannon flare.  The eye patches are made of wax & fit to anyone's eye socket snugly and are easily peeled off.  Some say that people can train one of their eyes to be good at seeing in light and the other to be good at seeing in dark using these.

Fists of the Desert Halflings - Tiny and aged, these corroded bronze gauntlets are made to resemble the desert oryx, a favored mount & work animal of the desert halflinhs.  The durable fists are identical gauntlets with parallel horns for more violent punching.  They're too small for anyone but a child or halfling to use.

The Gallant Red Breastplate - A fabulous, vibrant garment -the Gallant Red Breastplate is a comfortable & clean shirt of a obsolete style which has a red-metal convexity to cover the vitals.  It stays nicely pressed and clean - though also out of fashion even while providing protection.  A mechanism within the garment is what's used to cinch & open it.

Redblue Venom Plaster - A thin layer of this plaster is all that's needed, indeed any more would be possibly fatal. This is a medicine which, when applied gently as a plaster dries up as it poison's the patient, lightly.  The poisoning is benign however as it is effectatious at leaving the patient alive whilst killing off pernicious diseases.

Tasteless Lap Armor - Of the 9th tier of quality, and somewhat shabby even for that, this solid armor skirt is intended to protect the groin and thighs -but its design, possibly comical to exceptionally lowbrow audiences - incorporates an exaggerated, sharply pointed penis into the form.

Vanity Helmet - It's your helmet, and everyone knows it, because it is emblazoned with your crest & name, the mask that protects your face is a very flattering depiction of you.  Overall this sturdy helmet conveys an abiding egotism.

Megatherium Mantle - In the misty dawn of time just at the edge of history a megatherium - enormous & deadly was hunted and killed.  Its pelt is now a cape, the arms & limbs worn wrapped around your body many times, the hood comprised of the beast's massive head - this pelt, when worn, feels like a warm  long embrace.

Skill Oil - The oily distillation of the brains of executed thieves, this therapeutic oil can be applied to one's hands & feet, granting memory & facility sufficient to engage in the arts of subterfuge more capably.

Fiftieth Claw of the Dream Eagle - The dream eagle - a creature of popular fable & myth in the distant west is a creature purported to have 100 wings and 50 talons.  Each of its talons is said to stroke the earth, creating one particular part of existence - such as mountains or rivers.  The fiftieth claw bestows death and in this mythology the 50th claw is an idealized weapon - a rake-like spear of polished alabaster headed with a bladed claw.  Difficult to keep sharp, yours is dull but yet effective.

Singular Dugong - Not like the others, your dugong's tusks are long and it's quite strong besides.  Big & aggressive, your dugong loves to bite.

Longarm Spaulders - Made for someone perhaps taller than yourself, these cross-strapped shoulder pads are unused and in their original condition.  Nevermind that their original condition includes carved depictions of some kind of profane sexual rite.

The Shield of Fickle Fate - Strangely significant in your homeland, this wooden shield fitted with steel and bossed with lurid - unseemly images of a grotesque witch's Sabbath was once the determiner in a major religious court.  Deemed offensive & heretical but not actually forbidden, the shield opened up the rules of the religious state allowing witchcraft to be openly practiced.  For reasons, it's in your possession now.